In principle, detachment is the key to peace.
Sometimes we are so attached to things that we are apt to fight for them, so attached that when they disappear it brings great pain, so attached that our judgment is clouded to the point where we see and feel only conflict.
While right-sized compassion brings comfort, oversized attachment to people, ideas, or feelings brings turmoil and tension. While right-sized determination brings achievement, unwavering attachment to goals or ideals brings conflict.
Practical Tip: Do not be too attached to your group’s cause or decisions that you think the group should make. Do not be too attached to how you think things should be or how others should behave.
It is often those group members who are unreasonably dedicated — those who give an unreasonable amount of time or energy — who cause the most conflict.
Give your best without conditions. Speak your truth without expectations. Use the key, find peace.
– Craig Freshley
Click here for one-page PDF of this Tip, a great way to print or share.
Sometimes within something we’re determined on there are areas of compromise. I decided I wanted to do a clothes swap and asked friends to help me. They all replied they were too busy at the moment. Instead of nagging or giving up I asked if autumn would work better. They are all on board. So sometimes if you’re willing to compromise on details you can get what you really want.
Is it bad to be attached to doing something the way it is required? How does one discern between striving for quality and unreasonable dedication?
You have probably heard the joke about the Zen Master and the hotdog salesman.
The Zen Master asks the hot dog vendor to make him one with everything.
After waiting some time for money back from his $20 bill, the vendor reminds the Master that change must come from within.
Hi Craig,
Seems your tips are always written just for me! Thanks again for this service.
This tip could not have come at a better time–my meeting is tomorrow and the issue of casinos is filled attachment and conflict–thanks again
As the Founder of a new organization (I-LinCP), and preparing for our first Board retreat, I found this article exceptionally fitting!
This message resonated today!