In principle, it helps to take ownership of what I hear, which may be different from what the speaker intended. Messages often get changed between how they are launched and how they land. The person talking often means one thing yet the person listening often hears it differently. This is due to differences in culture and context. It is nobody’s fault.
When I begin a sentence with “I heard,” rather than “You said,” it acknowledges that I might not have heard it the way you intended. Speaking from my own perspective, using “I messages,” is disarming, safe, nonjudgmental, humble.
Practical Tip: Don’t tell someone what they said, what they launched. Rather, use your own words to describe what you heard, how the words landed on you. This allows the speaker to clarify any difference between launch and land, which furthers understanding, which contributes to good group decisions.
– Craig Freshley