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Good Group Tips

In principle, just because a person is talking doesn’t necessarily mean they are contributing, or that they are the only one contributing. Most of the time in a group decision setting, listening is the best contribution we can make. It is through listening, not talking, that we develop understanding, compassion, and creative solutions.

Practical Tip: Bite your tongue, hold your horses, cool your jets. To listen, don’t talk. Don’t be distracted by planning your talk.

If I let you talk first while I listen, it gives me some practical advantages:

1. To hear where you are coming from helps me choose my words. You have likely provided me some new information that I can incorporate.

2. Once you’ve got your words out you are more likely to be open to hearing mine.

3. Not talking first gives me time to listen within, listen to my own thoughts and feelings.

I help the group’s decision process when I consider my inner thoughts, how I really feel about something, so that when my words are spoken they are aligned with inner truth.

– Craig Freshley

Click here for one-page PDF of this Tip, a great way to print or share.

7 thoughts on “Listen

  1. I would add to the list of reasons for listening to others and letting them speak first:

    4. Someone else may say part of what I was going to say, which allows me to echo their comment and focus on the rest of what I was going to say.

    5. I can agree with what a previous speaker has said, making our point more powerful and convincing.

    6. I can build on what a previous speaker said, making it a more powerful comment.

  2. I work towards being a listener. My father was a man of few words, but when he talked, people listened to him. In my work situation, one of my long term goals is not interupting a person. As I get better at that (still working on it), I find I hear more.

  3. This is truly valuable information for, not just participation but leadership… sometimes leading is listening.

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