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Good Group Tips

In principle, it is love that truly changes hearts and transforms people, not power or rules. It is love that compels sustained changes in behavior, not oaths or doctrines. It is love that provides a willingness to give and it is love that helps us accept, let go, and find peace.

Most group decision-making models encourage that we not include love in the mix. We’re supposed to be objective, rational, unemotional. This works well on the field of battle where the goal is to beat the other guys. But it doesn’t work well when we are trying to find win-win solutions, peaceful solutions. Peace asks us to love our neighbors.

Practical Tip: It’s okay to allow love into your group decision making. This means encouraging passion…and compassion. It means treating everyone as a valued contributor, and no one as an enemy. It means making decisions not just with your head, but also with your heart. It means paying attention not only to the best available knowledge, but to wisdom.

I once heard someone say that “Wisdom equals knowledge plus love.”

– Craig Freshley

Click here for one-page PDF of this Tip, a great way to print or share.

7 thoughts on “Love

  1. Wow, this is the best tip yet! I’ve been waiting for someone to say this ever since I timidly started infusing some love elements into running this company many years ago. Great to get affirmation that a little love goes a long way in good business practices. Thanks Craig.

    1. Hi Shep –

      Just seeing this comment, now, and sorry for long reply. You might have guessed that I am Craig’s brother. He a bit of a hero for me!

      I love that love has a place in your company.

      I have started and led a wide variety of start-ups. And, ever since Craig wrote this tip in his book, I have included it in every company (starting in 2006). And, I have tried to practice and, often, quite explicitly. “I want us to have loving, caring relationships with each other. Start-ups are hard and love is part of the glue that will hold us together.” It is always a powerful moment.

      A lesson learned….

      Like many of Craig’s tips, it is sometimes super hard to practice and…a few years back, one of my daughters suggested that I read “The 5 Love Languages.” There are some simplistic things in there, but I instantly realized that many of my colleagues that I thought I was treating lovingly, did not receive it that way. I was not speaking their language! I was direct, up-front, challenging them to grow, concerned about the career prospects. Sometimes, that was received as intended. And, sometimes, it was received at pushy, arrogant, “you don’t think I am any good and need to better.” It did not feel like love at all.

      So, Craig – I suggest an edit to this old and powerful tip! “Love absolutely belongs in a meeting room and an organization. And, to demonstrate that, learn how your peers and colleagues know that you are being loving towards them.”

      Sorry for the long note.

  2. Thank you, Craig, for saying something that needs to be said. There is so much emphasis on the power of the interpersonal–and rightly so!–that sometimes the importance of tapping into our own inner selves, where love dwells, is lost. You’re helping restore the balance, and I appreciate that.

  3. I’m so pleased to hear this tip. I agree completely. It is important to realize that we are creatures with a mental habit of justification through rational thought and cause-effect thinking. That does not make us truly rational. I believe that including love makes emotional sense.

  4. Very nice. I appreciate your mentioning this, and really touching on related ideas in a number of your other tips. Well done.

    I am reminded of one of my favorite quotations from the management world, from a guy named McKnight (somewhere I have the ref): “Outstanding business leaders understand that you really can’t get people to do things; you can only encourage people to want to do things. And this encouragement is not through fear, but through meaning, love and hope.”

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