In principle, an extremely valuable contribution I can make to a group decision is to discern my own truth and share it with the group. Deep inside, what do I really feel? This requires me to cut through the clutter of all that’s on my mind. Discerning my truth requires me to be in touch with my feelings, to be honest with myself.
Sharing my truth requires courage. It might make me feel vulnerable. It might unleash other truths.
Protecting myself requires that I speak my truth and let go of the outcome. How others react to my truth is not my responsibility. Detachment is the secret to peace.
Practical Tip: Speak what’s on your heart rather than what’s on your mind. Don’t get mired in calculating the consequences. Speak your truth and let go of the outcome. One way to be sure you are speaking truth: say only what you feel. No one can argue with what you feel.
Once I was in a meeting and spoke my truth. Afterwards, I became terribly afraid of the consequences. I asked someone, “Did I say the right thing?” The response came without hesitation: “How could you not have?” they replied, “You spoke from your heart.”
Good read!!..all these strategies emphasize on”self control” and ways to win over one’s inner conflict.
Thanks so much for your comment, John. Sorry it’s taken me a few days to respond. Yes! I believe that it is detaching from outcomes that it so important. And I love how you say “spirituality can help us hold it more lightly.”
Great tip, Craig, and full of wisdom. Your statement “detachment is the secret to peace” echoes one of the roles I think spirituality can play in dialogue. Contemplatives in at least some of the world’s faith traditions (like Thomas Merton) stress the need to act because of the value of the action itself–out of faithfulness to the divine imperative, as it were–without any attachment to results. I don’t know that we can ever detach from our own truth, but my experience has been that spirituality can help us hold it more lightly. Would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Ain’t that the truth. I try to be principled in all aspects of my life, but at work it’s harder. I see things that are wrong and grapple with how to deal with them. I am learning to practice my thoughts out loud and present them in most non-threatening way possible. I find that must step out of my comfort zone a lot, but it’s worth it.
A good tip to remember for every area of life.
This is empowering for everyone; to let go of how others perceive us with all their own strengths and weaknesses, and strive to be honest for oneself, and for others too. Using our heart, our minds are “in gear” also, yet the challenge is to trust your heart, and also speak coherently too :-).