In principle, advice works best when it is solicited and unconditional.
Practical Tip: Generally, don’t give advice unless asked. Who are you to say that you know best, especially when you have not walked in the other’s shoes? If you give advice only when asked you are on solid ground and minimize reasons for regrets. Unsolicited advice is called for only when an intervention is truly warranted.
Give advice without expectations about what will result. Giving advice with strings — conditions or expectations — is a set up for disappointment. Besides, unconditional advice is much more useful to the receiver. Better decisions are made when the decider is free to act on all, part of, or none of the advice given.
Receive solicited advice with appreciation, whether you like it or not.
Ask for advice with specifics and parameters. You might ask for comments on a written proposal or answers to a specific question. Or you might describe a specific situation and ask, “What would you do?”
I hope you asked for this Tip. Use it however you like.
– Craig Freshley
Click here for one-page PDF of this Tip, a great way to print or share.
This is a confirmation of what I told my friend a month ago.
Yes, I did ask, and I do appreciate it.
Thanks for continuing to share your wisdom.
advice, advice, advice–it’s so hard—-I do like options, or choices for advice. I like to hear advice as a one time story, like “I remember my mother gave me this advice…..” That way it’s hearing a story and I can choose to hear or not.
It’s just as helpful to hear about receiving advice as it is to hear about giving it. I am reminded to calm my “defensive” reaction and to accept solicited AND unsolicited advice with grace.
I’m not so good at receiving unsolicited advice. It’s hard for me to say “no thanks, I don’t want your advice,” with grace. And often, that’s exactly what I’m thinking.