In principle, when I disagree with someone’s particular idea or action it does not mean I have to disagree with them about everything. Using disagreement from one battle as ammunition for another battle works well if you want to perpetuate fighting. If you want to perpetuate peace, it works well to contain disagreement to the particular issue at hand. Peacemakers know how to respectfully disagree about one thing and at the same time work well together on another thing.
Practical Tip: Enter every discussion as a new discussion with a positive outlook and an open mind about your fellows, regardless of past or other present disagreements. Don’t hold grudges, seek revenge, or use a person’s stance on one issue as a weapon against them on another issue.
Just because I think your idea is wrong or your behavior is inappropriate does not mean I think you are a bad person; it just means that I disagree with that particular idea or behavior, that’s all. I am always willing to work with you, with an open mind and a positive attitude, to make the best decisions for our group.
– Craig Freshley
Click here for one-page PDF of this Tip, a great way to print or share.
I love that you have asked one to discern between behavior and a Being.To be able to identify in this way not only allows the space for best decision making, but it keeps Peace as the foundation.Thank you for the reminder!
This is so helpful for me today. I am trying to plan a large wedding shower for my daughter. There are at least five other people involved, one being my daughter’s stepmother, who seems to convey to me that she’s the better mother for some reason. So I am making the decision to be gracious, in the best interest of my daughter and all involved. I am trying to keep an open mind, when stepmom is feeling pushy and judgemental in making decisions around planning. Wish me luck!
Responding to the comment below: Good luck! It is with family members and big events that we are most challenged to contain disagreement. Smile and nod. Don’t take things personally.
Thanks for today’s tip. Very timely in my life as I have given feedback on someone’s performance, and they are taking it very badly and don’t want to work with me any longer for the benefit of the company. The wording you offer describes exactly what I feel even though I couldn’t have put it so eloquently. Thanks.
Wow, that one rings a bell even one-year later.
I hope all is well with you.
I love getting these in my mailbox.